I can’t cope

[Captain24]

That sounds great. You have some awesome friends @tyme  Im just boiling some pasta and chucking some cheese on it. 

Thanks. I’m clinging onto the hope that the psychiatrist next week can start to get me sorted. 

Oh and I actually got 4 1/2 hrs sleep last night! Shame my alarm went off though. 

I’ll make you a hot chocolate with condensed milk! 

[tyme]

Thanks for the hot choc with sweetened condensed milk. It will be my first ever @Captain24 .

Managing meds takes time. Just keep plodding along as you wait for meds to get sorted. But definitely, you are another step in the right direction.

With your changing work schedule, it seems difficult even to be able to book into a psychotherapy module or some group therapy. Would you ever consider online group therapy or something? If I'm right, you live remotely? (Can't remember if I got that right).

I'm so glad you had some sleep last night. Hope you get to sleep tonight too.

tyme

[Captain24]

I don’t know @tyme if I could do a

group. If there is more than 2 people around I don’t speak. I’m that quiet person that everyone thinks is weird. 
I’m pretty computer illiterate. I think I need to get more confidence first. 

Yeah I live rural. We don’t have traffic lights or a shopping centre. It that typical country town with a pub on each corner (that’s heritage list) and all the shop front are on the street. There is roughly 10000 in the town and 15000 if you include the surrounding areas. It is a pretty place with lovely parks and a river that runs through on of them. 

[tyme]

I was like that the beginning of group therapy. Absolutely hated the idea of it @Captain24 - I was so shy, hated speaking and wanted to hide if people were speaking to me. 

Then, after going round and round with my mental health and not getting anywhere with it, I eventually gave into the idea that perhaps I should try group therapy - and I did. The best choice I made - I'm here because of it. 

Being so reserved, I really didn't know how to speak about my feelings. I first practised on the forums, then took my emotions and thoughts to group therapy, then that was how I re-learnt to connect. It was a very difficult process to be honest. But thank goodness that part of my group therapy was also individual therapy. So each week consisted on one group and one individual session. If anything triggering in group happened, I'd be able to debrief in the individual session. Also, I was under case management then, so I also had an appointment with my CM once a week.

Anyway, the hard work paid off - I'm here.

I think you sort of know when you are ready for particular therapies. I definitely wasn't ready for it in my 20s....no way! I waited til my 30s.

tyme

[Captain24]

I’ve tried 2 peer group chats on here @tyme . The first one I was actually participating in and I had to leave because it was way to triggering. The second one, I was more reserved but then someone made a comment and me being me took it personally. So neither were a really good experience for me. 

If the MH team have one here I will maybe give it a go. I desperately want to get out of here so I have to try or it will end badly. 

Hope you sleep well and have a good day tomorrow.

💕

[tyme]

What's important is that you gave it a go @Captain24 . If it hasn't worked yet, it may work later down the track. Whatever it is, you ARE making progress. 

I will hopefully catchup with you tomorrow evening sometime. Hope you get some sleep.

Hugs, 

tyme

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 ,

How's things? Did you go for dinner tonight?

tyme

[Captain24]

No I worked today @tyme 

Im not ok. I’ve done something stupid. I don’t deserve any support today. I’m ashamed. I’m scared. 

Thanks anyway 

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 ,

I hear things are not okay at the moment. 

Your mind is telling you that you do not deserve help, care and support. Yet this is the emotional mind speaking. Remember, beyond that is a rational mind. A mind that can take the facts, weigh them up and make clear judgements.

Whatever has happened today, I urge you to reach out to crisis lines:

Lifeline on 13 11 14

beyondblue on 1300 224 636

Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467

The clouds may seem dark now, but they WILL shift.

Your post causes me to be concerned about your safety. I will send you a check-in email. Look out for it.

tyme

[Captain24]

Is chat working?