Hello @Shaz51
Thank you for the message. I’m not really ok. I’m not in a good headspace and haven’t had the capacity to even respond. Things just seems to be getting worse. My son’s instability is more prevalent and he is easily triggered into an episode. Quite often I think it is a psychotic episode as his paranoid ideation is getting worse and more frequent. His anger and frustration is also less controlled.
He consistently has it in for me and anything close to me. He is mentally and emotionally abusive and I’m at the point now that I’m constantly nervous around him and scared of what he may do to me and anyone close to me. He has a history of violent outbursts and we have called the police before not just for the violence but to get him some help. He continues to refuse help and acknowledge his condition. He says I need help and have the mental problem.
Of late I am always scared and more often than not wanted to call the police. Not because he is physically violent at the time but to prevent a violent situation as before and to get him some involuntary help. His outbursts are worrying and frightful as is his irrational thinking.
To give you an example of late. My home was broken into the other night whilst we were asleep. My bag and car was stolen. He believes I planned it with my partner of 17 years who doesn’t live with me by the way, he believes we orchestrated the robbery to set him up he says in one breath and in the other to put his life in danger. There is more but no need to be specific. So for the last few days I’ve been on the receiving end of all sorts of accusations, blame, emotional abuse and it goes on. He wakes me in the middle of the night with this behaviour and accusations and he sends me texts all day with the same allegations. It’s exhausting, worrying, frightening and I feel scared. Most importantly I want him to get help even if it is against his will. So today I was to scared to come home. His texts where endless. I did call 000 and indicated I didn’t know whether I wanted police or ambulance. The police came and a nurse later. What was the outcome ...? Nothing. They couldn’t do anything because he wasn’t physically violent even though they were aware of his history of violence, even though they could see I was shaking with fear. One officer expressed his concern about him being left with me as they could well see his agitation and his non sensical conversation with them. They were worried but couldn’t do anything about it. Even the suggestion from the officer to get an AVO for my safety he deemed pointless as he believed my son wouldn’t adhere to it. So they called a nurse for assessment. The outcome of that.... nothing. In 15 minutes she was able to make an assessment that he didn’t need to go to hospital. That he would be recommended to the acute mental health team for follow up. That’s it. I asked them does someone have to get hurt before anything can be done?? There answer was if you don’t feel safe call us again... but I don’t feel safe I kept saying. My son needs help I told them. Again they say if you feel threatened call us again.
So they all left and my son sat there and laughed at me and thought he “won”. To only continue to berate me and pace outside my locked bedroom door where I went for safety intimidating me.
To say I am disheartened at the legal and mental hospital system is an understatement.
So here I am. Locked away in my bedroom scared. I have a 25 year old son who lives with me and if he is home, although I’m still scared it gives me a little comfort he is listening and watching out for me.
To go and stay at my partner’s who only lives 4 doors down from me with his adult children, I can’t even consider without worrying about putting them at risk, which may I add they have already been victim to his accusations and abuse.
I’ve lost all hope and given up.
