@Appleblossom
@greenpea
Today was not a good day. I tried talking to my son, small talk and of course he was defensive telling me how dare I call the police, I don’t care for him, I should be the one going to jail .....
I said to him he needs help and if he doesn’t get help or show me that he is doing something about it he needs to leave. I said I can’t keep living like this if he doesn’t want to help himself. His comment was he was leaving anyway. I said how, no money, no job and until then what are you doing for yourself in terms of help. I said him leaving in the future is not helping things now. I said to him he can’t keep threatening myself and those close to me and accusing us of paranoid ideations. I told him to show some respect and of course that triggered his rage verbally. In amongst his rage he asks me what would I do to make him leave. I said I could have him evicted. That certainly didn’t help his rage. He said even if he didn’t live with me he would continue to make my life hell and “finish off” my partner and I. I called his father to come over. I certainly didn’t want my partner here given he has been on the receiving end of his abuse and threats.
His relationship with his father is a strained one. He has never really been there for his son and it’s a very volatile one. There is communication between them however it often ends up in an argument. I called him because he is his father and i needed a male for protection. I certainly didn’t want my younger son intervening even though he too received abuse as I didn’t want an altercation between them. My younger son is 25. He father didn’t come as my BPD son called him to take some things and store them in his garage. He told his father he wanted out and was going to stay in his car and didn’t want to be here. He has left before only to come back. His father said me to me he would put him up in a hotel for the night as his partner doesn’t want my BPD son staying with them. I asked him to at least put him up somewhere for a couple of weeks. I even sent him some links to some inexpensive temporary accommodation. The only thing is when it things gets to hard for my ex husband with my son or if my son challenges him he just sends my son right back. I told him I didn’t want him back and wouldn’t take him back. I requested he hold his keys to my house and only allow him to come for anything he might need with him. Will he or my son do that..? I don’t know. I’m still scared. My son may not be here right this very minute but I have visions that he might still come and do something. In his rage he doesn’t think and just acts out. He has told me numerous times he isn’t afraid of going to jail.
I’m very broken hearted right now. I question myself as how I approached and handled things today. I feel guilty in some way. I don’t want him on the streets and I hope his father can help him get on track. At least help him get some housing or something.
It seems whichever way you look at it or do it is still very painful. I don’t know what the outcome of this will be. I don’t know if what I have done has set him off for another sequence of events with regards to his safety, my safety and others safety. I don’t know if things will get worse before they get better 😢😢
