Lived Experience Forum

[Battleox12]

Hey it’s been a long morning been up since 2:30 am had my coffee had my tea got my little boy a bottle wanted to colour in but I tucked him in gave him a kiss put him back to bed 3 of them now sleeping my girlfriend slept in another bed because my daughter has a habit jumping in with us it’s quite atm peacfull . Have to clean up soon just been watching creflo a Christian minister pretty good me and the missis are really distant toward each other like she don’t love me anymore I’m of no use like doesn’t talk to me if I’m downstairs she’s up stairs It just stressing me out yesterday told me to leave her house it’s like I’ve givin everything and now I have nothing so I’m just in the way I do love her just so broke always thinking am I trying harder enough am I doing the right thing been together 8 years most of them been in debt just paying bills I just want to feel loved and appreciated feel like I’m asking to much the conversation are always the same all I can hope is for better , better way , better communication to be heard kinder to each other she has work today so she will be tired when she gets home I’m 35 just want to start living life cause in my depression drinking just wanted to die wanna be happy but lately just feels like im going nowhere 

[tyme]

Heya @Battleox12 ,

Thanks for sharing. It sounds like you have a lot on your mind. I'm sorry to hear that things are pretty flat at the moment and it sounds like you are looking for ways to feel that bit better.

I sounds like you love your little ones very much, and you are doing your best to get on top of things. 

Communication is a huge factor. I also found this a struggle, but eventually, but slowing down my thoughts, I was able to better communicate with others. In a way, in my MH recovery, these forums became a place for me to dump my thoughts, reflect on them and edit if needed... I could then transfer the 'refined' version in real life.

Sorry if I'm not making sense.

[Asgard]

Hiye @Battleox12 

Your poor brain must be worn out, you have so many thoughts firing off at the same time, each competing for space and attention.  Your brain needs a rest thats for sure, because no one can process all that information at the same time.  You need time for you, any chance you can make yourself a coffee and just breath in and out slowly - put reality to one side.  Just breath in and out  --- and keep repeating until that brain of yours has a chance to relax.

You indicated that you wanted more kindness between you and your missus, so when she comes home, tell her to put her feet up and have a drink together.  Everyday do 1 kind thing, it will be noticed.  Take care