Struggling: TW suicide

[Former-Member]

@Captain24 big hugs ❤️

How was your walk with your parents and Pixie yesterday? 

I know sometimes I still feel lonely. Even thought I'm "recovered". I know what it's like to feel alone and lonely. When I feel really lonely, I try to think of 1 person I could talk to, even if it's just a short phone call. I don't even always call them (although that can help). Can you think of anyone?

[Former-Member]

@creative_writer I think I understand. It sounds like when you talk with someone about the deeper stuff, you're letting them in and dropping a mask so you can talk about EVERYTHING and be yourself. I think I relate to that sooooo much. I definitely have a mix of people. Some who are just deep things, some who are just light things, but definitely a select few which I can to about everything. But they're special people ❤️ 

I feel like a lot of this comes back to stigma. Generally we feel like we can't talk about our MI because not many people do. But I think so many of us actually struggle with not talking about it because we thing we're the only ones with these challenges. 

And it's true we all have unique experiences. But something which is central to peer work, is that if we can't connect over the details of experiences or diagnosis, we can 100% relate to the shared feelings. 

This isn't me saying you need to do this, but I do wonder what the world would look like if we could more openly share these experiences and connect over feelings?

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member talking about MI more openly is scary because it leaves you vulnerable. I do think there is a lot of stigma, it’s like by keeping this in I am protecting my honour. I would be judged, ridiculed and thought as mentally unstable. Which is why I’ve been open with people i can trust, because gossip spreads in the community like wildfire. At the same time I am more likely to find people I can connect with, but is that worth the price I would have to pay?

[Former-Member]

totally, and every community and culture has different ways of talking about MH. 

Have you searched for any specific support groups or online communities which relate to your community @creative_writer? 

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member yes it does depend on the community and culture. I am only really on SANE right now. I know they are other ones like Beyond Blue. Online forums do allow me to stay anonymous. I know it’s not the same as in person connections though.

[Former-Member]

Yeah, the anonymity is super important, hey @creative_writer  ❤️ 

I just know for me, sometimes it's nice to connect with people who share some of my other experiences like being queer. But I also find it useful to connect on the forums too. Just a thought 😊 

[tyme]

@creative_writer , hello hello 🙂 I've just logged back on.

I was thinking about an earlier post of yours where you mentioned relying on family. My take on that is that you need a balance. Having family around is good for some things, and having a wider network is good for other things.

I don't imagine having all your eggs in one basket too healthy in this regard? I think it's about balance.

What are you thoughts on this? 

I know for me, for some things I share only with family, and other things I only share with others OUTSIDE family. Sometimes, family are too emotionally invested to be able to give objective support.

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member and @tyme I suppose I can connect on other levels even if it’s not mental illness. But I’ve only started going to uni in person so I don’t know anyone, it’s always hard. It takes me forever to actually move past the small talk stuff, if I even move past the stage. The small talk stuff doesn’t really cut it and can feel like a chore after some time. And it’s hard if the people you trust more are too far from you to actually have a catch up.

[tyme]

I'm not very good at it myself @creative_writer - I've joined in to community zumba and dance classes. Hopefully I get to meet people in the community that way. 

I need to find people outside my work circle, outside my family circle. I feel like this is a Venn diagram with lots of 'circles' lol. Family is just one of the circles.

I find small talk a chore. If people saw me, they'd never believe I hate socialising. They think I love it... no way. I'd rather hide. But I do it because I know it's good for my MH. I need to learn to get out more. 

I have so many community events in my area which is great. They are all free of charge. It's about turning up. It's pretty cool. I was going to walking football for a while. I can't do it anymore because of my work hours. They also have craft classes, art classes, kick boxing, 3D printing courses, language classes, day trips, cruises, walking groups... if I wasn't working, I'd hang out at all these places. It's pretty awesome. I'm only learning more about them now. Such a great initiative to support the local community.

[creative_writer]

@tymeI guess I’ve been so cut off from the community that it’s hard to actually go and socialise. I never really grew up with that big social life so it doesn’t come natural to me. It is about finding events and seeing what fits in with the schedule. It can be hard to get motivated especially if I'm so sleepy and tired all the time even with adequate sleep. I’ve been sent some tips on sleep hygiene and I’m going to try using sleep glasses when they get here. I think my quality of sleep is just so poor and so easily disrupted by light exposure. If I can try to get it sorted, it’ll be easier to manage uni, emotions, and a social life.