I’m just so frustrated. So so very frustrated @rav3n @Ru-bee @AuntGlow
comm mh called me back after I called the emergency number last night (which was mostly useless then) and mostly useless again today. Someone who knows nothing about me, like you knew you were calling me could you not of spent a quick 5mins reading a little about me first???? Praised me for at least spend 2 hrs on the treadmill today. Asked if I see a psychologist? Well yes I see someone there who’s been away for weeks and no one has done any follow up like I asked. Do you have strategies? Well yeah but they obviously aren’t working otherwise I wouldn’t be in crisis right now calling these numbers for extra support. Have you had these dark thoughts before? Yep, 6 icu admission due to attempts. No I do not want to go to hospital. Do you have family you can talk to? Go talk to your partner. No. No no no. Friends? Nope. I’m pretty lonely. Alone and lonely.
like why do I need to repeat all of this shit when I’m in crisis???? You’re all part of a team. Do they not share any of this information???
I was getting more angry and more upset the longer that I spoke with her.
she told me it was ok if I wanted to cry. Told me I could always come drop into the centre. And speak to some random and repeat all that same shit again?? No thank you. Your CM will be back in on Thursday. Great, 3 more days away.
go do some more cleaning. Some cooking. Go for a walk (more exercise?!?!!)
thanks ok. Bye.
called my SW crying. Blabber my way through repeating back to my SW how the previous phone call went.
was there any follow up planned? No. My SW is fumming that there has been no care in place of my psychologist. But nothing that she can do. Hospital? No. I can’t. She said the only good thing about hospital is they will look at my meds. I have a pdoc appointment next week. Anxiety through the roof with that one and my SW being away.
more tears. My thoughts are really bad. Not ok at all.
