My Mosaic

[Bow]

Workers totally can have holidays, they deserve it, they need it. But for f’ing sake please give me more than a days notice that your taking 2 weeks off!!!  Especially with a trauma anniversary this week, a pdoc appointment next week, no psychologist and on the verge of stepping over the edge. I need time to mentally prepare for zero support.

In my bedroom crying

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Bow this is really not good timing is it? Sounds like this news has thrown you for a loop, which is understandable with such short notice. Is there any other support available in their place while they're away? Anyone to cover their time off?

[Bow]

Yeah I’ve been allocated another SW @Ru-bee  that I don’t know. She won’t have much time though cause she already has her own caseload 

[Ru-bee]

Mmm I mean at least they have organised that, but with it being someone who you don't know and who has their own busy caseload I can totally understand that it's not really an adequate replacement especially given the timing @Bow 

[Bow]

I should be use to it @Ru-bee  people just up and leaving. My psychs away, she asked what I would need while away but nothing. And now my SW. 

people don’t really care. everyone just leaves. too hard. not worth. 

[rav3n]

hey @Bow i'm so sorry to hear about your SW going on leave suddenly - i get it, i need time to mentally prepare for these sort of things and having a last min makes my mind feel messy. 

you shouldn't have to 'get used to' people leaving, i wish you'd received better and earlier communication from them. but please know, it's NOT a reflection of your worth ever. there are people who care about you heaps, some say it louder than others. let me be loud today and say i care about you Bow, and the forums community cares dearly 💙

how can the forums community support you during this week's trauma anniversary? what would be helpful?

[Ru-bee]

I'm so sorry this is something that you have to keep on going through @Bow 

To me it sounds a bit like it might be reflective of the mental health system and the high prevalence of burnout and compassion fatigue...I wonder if that could be contributing to what you've experienced with supports dropping off

I understand that it could make you feel like you're being put in the "too hard" basket, especially if it's something that's happened to you over again, I just want to offer a gentle reframe of what might be going on. Either way I'm sorry that you're being let down

[Bow]

Why’s it keep happening? Why’s it a frequent occurrence?? @rav3n  It’s not sudden leave for her or the team, just for me. She knew she was taking it. 

I’m just so shattered. 

I just want someone to care. To actually really care. To know it’s a shitty sucky couple of weeks and to make me feel like I actually matter. Cause I don’t. 

I just feel a burden. A huge burden. And I’m tired of feeling this way. 

[Bow]

Yeah maybe that is the case @Ru-bee  and maybe they’d all be better with one less person to have to care about. 

[AuntGlow]

Hi @Bow, I can see the lovely @Jynx was there for you last night, I am so sorry that I missed your message, but I will be here until 10 tonight and want you to know that we are all here for you. It must be so incredibly overwhelming to manage a trauma anniversary and all of your challenges with supports... you're allowed to feel what you are feeling, and we will be here to listen. 

Would it also be helpful to look at the things that you already have access to support/self-care wise and how we can increase those things over the coming week? 💛