27-09-2019 10:12 AM
27-09-2019 10:12 AM
Life is full of hardship
life is full of stress
irs not easy when you struggle
if only it was different
so what do I do
don’t know my life anymore
sm so confused
so messed up
mixed emotions running around
in my head
beating them all up
my life is like a huge washing machine
tumbling and turning wringing and turning spinning round and round
the cycle keeps going
I should know by now what I want in my life
but I really don’t
I’m confused I’m emotional I’m angry
the anger is so intense I want to self harm
the anger is chaotic
it’s revenge I want
I want to hurt those people
the ones that hurt me
i really want to hurt someone
30-09-2019 09:10 AM
30-09-2019 09:10 AM
Tiny body, tiny face
Tiny person graced my place
Arms were open, arms embraced
We didn’t know the pain you faced
Though long ago I saw you smile
It only lasted for a while
I see you often in my mind
And hope its peace of mind you’ve found
If a feeling warm and kind
Often passes through you mind
For I often wish to you
Softest moments pure and true
In my heart you’ll always be
You became a part of me.💜💜
30-09-2019 12:41 PM
30-09-2019 12:41 PM
My mi is like my misophonia. They preach about eating with your mouth shut. So they don't have to listen to it. Because it gets to them.
But they will deliberately do it when they know it annoys you and they'll do it because it makes you look crazy and discredits you as being normal and sane. When you crack it at them .
Fair aye?
30-09-2019 07:19 PM
30-09-2019 07:19 PM
And it came again, thoughts thrown in distortions, legs can’t stop, feeling utter helpless and profound distress. Nothing helps. On and on for hours. Then slowly switched to normal. Still fear the return of no control, despair. Then I can’t get rid of the pains inside, of life long entanglement, with the man who was called my father. He pushes inside my psyche, overly involved in every of my thoughts, actions. Yea, he was obsessed with me, ‘ meaning well’, that he robbed all my opportunities to normal friendship, above all a family of my own. Then there’s nothing I can do. Born in the setting which walked to loneliness and death.
01-10-2019 11:32 AM
01-10-2019 11:32 AM
I write a bit for my music - Cant sing thou
Today
Not like any other day
Im Tired
Im broken
Im beaten down
You Say
There is a price I pay
No Sleep
No Rest
No Time for my escape
Been down a long time
Its just a part of man kind
I need the sleep
Or ill get weak
The livings got to start with you
Been here for the long ride
Theres nowhere I can hide
Ill need to keep
Or got to seek
A better place for my mind
This time
My mind is out to find
The Answers
The Questions
The Chance to say it again
My Eyes
Have seen the darkest day
No pill
No time to fill
No More time for the answers
Been down a long time
Its just a part of man kind
I need the sleep
Or ill get weak
The livings got to start with you
Been here for the long ride
Theres no where I can hide
Ill need to keep
Or got to seek
A better place for my mind
01-10-2019 01:17 PM
01-10-2019 01:17 PM
Welcome to the forums @Gameoverluke
I like your writing.
01-10-2019 01:58 PM
14-10-2019 07:22 PM
14-10-2019 07:22 PM
My heart aches
small cries of emotions
the sounds of rushing wind
like the seasons through my head
the sinking of my heart
tiredness and sadness
carry through the day
somehow it is late evening again
and I nearly survived another day
I wish you can hear my heart
the fragile tenderness within
that you were never sure
was it here that you came into my life
15-10-2019 12:48 PM
15-10-2019 12:48 PM
Feel intense anxiety now,
Whole body tense
Chest swells to throat
Head woosy
Thoughts drowned in waves of tension
I know where it comes from
Mum used to demand high performancd
Not giving much support
Blocked by father
A fraction second slower
He will crush me on my budding breasts and under my skirt
Always live in intense threats
Always ready to run and stage fight
Since childhood to until father death
15-10-2019 01:03 PM
15-10-2019 01:03 PM
This anxiety comes again, when feel mum demanding in a small child
Also now someone threatening coming
Mum no longer demanding
I am not under threat
Feels like going into a cocoon
Protected and in the dark, all anxiety resolve
In the dreams, something turns and in the mornings, my life again under threat
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