Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

We met briefly on a random thread back in mid-September, @PeppiPatty.

Thank you for the reply, although I really wasn’t looking for one (that’s why I like this thread).

Unfortunately, sleep has never been my friend. I hope you sleep well later.

Good night. 🌷

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Former-Member

Thank you for the message......yes, my husband was lonely before he met me.....

Is there community centres near where you live? 

Does sound silly, but do you like drawing? I bet you can draw cats over and over again or the sunset??

I am impressed with you reaching out online .. Mr G wants to know what is your cat called ?

PeppiPatti

[Maggie]

I'm done, over it, sick of being ignored, exhausted with trying. Just what is it about me anyway, I always do it wrong, get it wrong, think it wrong wrong wrong wrong. Always a complete failure and it's never going to change. Maybe it's time the lights went out and I give the world a break from me, wouldn't that be a breath of fresh air. Can't even achieve with suicide, I've failed too many times, what a laugh I am. I'm missing the obvious sign posts, too dumb to see them, another laugh. Ha ha bloody ha. Guess the curtains gone down and the laughing clown cries, who cares.

[Former-Member]

@Maggie

I always feel pain when I read posts like yours

I hate the fact that you have got to this stage

I hate the fact that you don't think you are worthwhile

I hate the fact that you think you always get it wrong

I hate the fact that you  label yourself as dumb

I hate the fact that you are feeling so overwhelmed and say "who cares"

I care.........because I have had all of those feelings myself at different stages of my life.....

It b....y hurts like hell

now when I start to have negative self talk.....I ask myself ....is it really me all of the time.....what about them????......

nobody is perfect in this world....no such thing

when we belittle ourselves we get so good at doing it that we dont even recognise what we are doing to ourselves....

on so many occasions it was not me ...it was the other person...

you don't do it wrong......someone else is just not listening or paying attention

there are very few actual listeners....you are probably one of the very few as am I.....it took me a very long time to accept this after being told so many times....this is why we blame ourselves because we are in the minority

so I say to you....you are unique Maggie with your own special gifts and qualities......you are valued on this earth.....you certainly are valued on this forum

take your time.......just catch your breath and slowly tell yourself that you are valued....listen....take it in....be gentle with yourself

if you need to hear this again tag me and I will continue to tell you so that you too will start to believe this

you are valued

[Former-Member]

sorry everybody I know we are not meant to respond

I needed to for Maggie as well as myself

[Maggie]

@Former-Member My tears say it all right now, Thankyou, a hundred times over Thankyou.💞💞

[Former-Member]

I am so relieved that I did not upset you further....trample  all over your feelings

it is so hard sometimes to know whether to say something or not......at such a sensitive and vulnerable time

@Maggie just tag me anytime...I dont receive emails but I do check in to profile thingy....not sure of correct name.... I do not do techno stuff

be very gentle with yourself......a very delicate time for you

keep on writing on here if you dont want a response......I  can tag you on one of my threads if you want to write over there ....or perhaps you already have one of your own.....

or perhaps you would prefer to just be left alone for awhile

whatever your wishes I will respect .....this is about you not me

[Maggie]

@Former-Member I have a thread called LOST, suprise!!!! You are welcome there whenever you feel you can. You have no idea how much what you have said helps. And again, Thankyou.

[Former-Member]

Hello @Maggie

great to see that you have much supprt

I will respond again soon..

always that you are valued

will speak soon

take care..stopselblamd

[Former-Member]

I have had enough. I can't seem to do, say and think anything right at the moment. I am sick and tired of feeling like this and I am meant to just see it out until these stupid meds kick in. And there are no guarntees that they will even work. All I have managed today it to do one load of washing and I am exhausted. I try to put on a brave face and pretend everything is ok but I am breaking inside. I hate myself, I hate my life and I hate this stupid MI I have. I really hope tomorrow I do not wake up. Everyone would be better off without me.