@Carlachris I hope your relationship with Mr C continues to improve with his improving health. I was so pleased to get such a positive vibe from your last post.
This is about the time of year when Mr S plummets headlong in a downward spiral towards Christmas - March and September seem to be the months where I get to my wits end and treat myself to a respite elsewhere. Since last March he too has been on different mood stabilisers and they have made quite a difference. I equinox mania is still occurring but it seems to be kept under much better control - the soltace mania happen too, but not to the same extent. So, quarterly episiodes with Spring and Autumn being more violent than Winter and Summber... I only realised that pattern today!
I'm sure I've told you about how he has in own place but won't go back since they cut down a tree in May of last year. This went on and on and on like a broken record until the last time I ran away where I wrote to him saying I was having nothing more to do with the tree or his infantile revenge plots.
Recently there was another letter from the body corp worrying about rats in the empty unit which sent him off the deep end but I said I'd handle it. I have handled it. I went over, saw no evidence of rats or roaches like they suggested, laid baits anyway like they suggested, sent them the receipt for same and job done.
Just not job done to his satisfaction and for most of last week it was a constant tyrade about what I was supposed to do about the tree. This was what I spoke about in the session on Friday.
I reminded him that I had already washed my hands of treegate, I said the matter of the supposed rats was now finalised to everyone's satisfaction and I would be closing my file on that one. He was furious that I was airing our linen in public, I could tell, but I pointed out that having a rational conversation about this with just the two of us is impossible and that I chose to speak about it with an impartial mediator as the only way I felt safe.
The pdoc was wonderful - asking him to think about what the circumstances might be to enable him to let the whole issue go, but he is adamant that he will not, despite the distress is causes me. I am pleased that I now know that it's not in my imagination when I think he constantly makes everything my responsibility because he did it there and she called him out on it.
"Fine" he says, "if you want me to handle it I will but you won't like the consequences". To me, that sounds like a threat and when I've called it thus in the past he tells me "it's not a threat it's simply a warning"...?????
I have maintained from day one that he needs legal advice on this (because I don't think he has a leg to stand on but that's by the by) and I said so again. "Well how are you going to find the money for that?" he asked me. (remember this guy is not my husband and he moved into my house for a lockdown in March 2020 and never went home again).
I met the drs eyes and she nodded and asked him another question. He doesn't see it, how statements like that are abrogating his own responsibility and putting it all back onto me. Again.
I was VERY distressed. I hold in a lot of things in front of him because he gets angrier if I get upset. I was a weepy mess letting all my anger and fear tumble down my face as tears. By this time I'm having a panic attack about going home again with him, but he agreed, in the consultation, that we would walk out and not mention it again over the weekend.
To his credit, he didn't, although he did find another reason to wake me up with a tantrum about midnight Friday and kick me out of my own bed.... he came good by Saturday lunchtime - "forgave me" for my transgression (not going into it, too pathetic) all was ok until I was getting ready for work today.
He wasn't angry with me though, just a call centre which obviously wasn't going to be fully staffed at 6:25 in the morning. He wanted me to ring them on my phone too to see who would get through first. Furious that I didn't have time to sit around waiting instead of dressing and leaving, I dialed and passed him the handset. I was kinda hoping they wouldn't pick up before I left because if I don't have my phone he can't ring me.
Anyway, his phone picked up first so I grabbed mine and ran out with him shouting at the state health department.
fun times.... xoxox
