Trying makes it worse

[Appleblossom]

@EternalFlower I am really glad to hear from you and that you are able to move on with your life and pathways to wholesome healing. It’s wonderful you have trustworthy people on your team now. Whether it is the vibe or gentle smile or apt joke that generates rapport and the feeling of being able to express yourself as you are, it is great you have found it and feel supported, I hear the DBT programs have many ideas and strategies that you can draw from.  

@Sophia1 good to see you, even if it is less often. Your quiet wisdom shines through.

@TAB your dreams for your house are great and will give you projects and direction. Maybe even better than having it all right now. So long as you have protection from the elements, some warmth and you are even cooking. Go Tabster. I approve of trees for shade, but am green in that I have not even travelled outback much.

[TAB]

Thanks @Appleblossom 😊 you are right..

[EternalFlower]

@Sophia1 @Appleblossom sometimes, some support services and some online spaces where i may or may not be a member, can be so authoratarian, poorly handle complaints or concerns and privacy and sometimes it is so difficult and disappointing to express reasonable concerns and be dismissed, that I feel it truly makes mental health worse.

I personally feel very uncomfortable on this site at times, altough of course, not naming any names, just expressing how angry and disappointing it can feel at times...

[Appleblossom]

Gentle hugs @EternalFlower good to see you 

hearing you about a general shift to authoritarian styles in the modern world. Not good in mental health field where I believe issues around power dynamics are key.

This week I am dealing with losing my gorgeous support worker who is a rare gem in the field. She has expressed her vulnerability to me with decency and good boundaries. We are working out a plan to transition… part of the reason she is STRESSED is that she doesn’t want to be associated with the mechanical heartless even brutish behaviour of many in the field, especially NDIS. It is sad and I have told her I am really grateful to have known her. Sad the good ones are leaving. It also happened in education. 

take care of yourself 

🍎 

🎹🪇🎷⛹️‍♀️🤸‍♂️🥕🍌

[EternalFlower]

Hi @Appleblossom i fear for the NDIS at the moment - and am so sorry about the loss of your support worker.

I love Sane, I thinkn it's the best service out there, but there just aren't enough in nsome particular services and in the NDIS to help us right now.

I also loved going to Spectrum, I had such an amazing experience there adn was so lucky i got in - really special place. So glad I had good care and help there, it was utterly amazing.

I'm glad you got to say thakn you to your worker. They are so rare. I won't say that maybe someone better will come along, because it wouldn't be fair to that grief. The good ones are one in a million. We are so lucky we have met some 🙂

[EternalFlower]

@Appleblossom i've had mixed fits with NDIS workers at the moment - I had one recently who was quite scary - my SC reported her to the commission. 

She took 3k from my plan and each time did less and less time, but charged for 7 hours regardless. I was too scared to say no to her. She made out like she was super busy and impersonated a doctor, suggesting she worked i nthe ED when we both found out it was all a lie.

There are actual sick people out there. I feel like I have to be so militant about it. It is not my nature. I've learnt almost to trust no one, and my sensne of safety is gone. 
What's left sometimes, I don't know

[Appleblossom]

@EternalFlower Good to hear from you as always. I do try to nurture the good moments and memories within, although at times I ruminate on the challenging situations. I see that as the stuff of life.  It needs to be a bit organic that we allow our genuine concerns be.

The situation with my support worker is being navigated. There will be at least one more 3 hour shift and then some zoom hour sessions. She is trying to work out her changing health situation and I am happy to fit in with it. I am not in a hurry to replace her, but at some stage may need to, to maintain quality of life. When she initially came on board it was not good. It may have been because I was accepting of the wrong people for me. We will see how things unfold.

take care of yourself 

I am grateful for any good moments in my life, even random conversations, which gave a sense of connection. Treasure the good. It’s your call how you describe and value your circumstances .

[Appleblossom]

Just saw your second post @EternalFlower 

I am learning to be more guarded and discerning. I was too soft and open. Yes the predators can be within the system. It’s huge to adapt to the NDIS. It’s a learning curve. Value your intuition. Its what I have to learn.