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Talking through trauma and PTSD

New therapist

Re: New therapist

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my 2.  With me only being away overnight I’m thinking of leaving them with extra food plus some treats when I leave to go to the hospital.  They are slowly getting used to people but are still quite nervy.  Peace of mind for me will be knowing they are safe at home with access to my bedroom and bathroom only.

 

I suspect there will be lots of vocalising when I get home on Thursday

Re: New therapist

They're nice looking beasties @Patches59 .

Better double up on water while you're away.

Hope you've got all the eyedrops under control - the hospital should supply them since you're staying. I had to get mine myself, or rather get someone to get them for me straight after the op, which wasn't ideal. 

 

Re: New therapist

My case is almost packed @Dimity  

tomorrow have to put in phone charger plus the 2 different types of drops I currently use.

Hospital has pharmacy on the ground floor.

bound to be more expense than a discount pharmacy I usually go to but it’s convenient 

 

I use a large dog bowl for water for my 2 cats which I usually top up couple times a week.  It is one thing I forgot about was to buy another bowl.  Thanks for the prompt, I’ll find a bowl of some size in my cupboards and use. 😺

 

During phone call to Legacy this morning the lady I spoke with asked about couple of my interests.  Following nice chat with her I’m thinking about starting to write the story of my grandfather and his life.  He was born in late 1880’s, son of farm workers

Re: New therapist

@Dimity  what things brought you to think about no longer seeing your therapist? If you don’t mind sharing.

 

On Friday I had telehealth call from my Therapist and, due to couple things that happened I’m thinking maybe I’m better seeing some one else.  On Friday I know at one stage I wasn’t “in” the conversation. Could hear her voice and something about nodes but most of what she said sounded like noise.  I heard the word ‘appointment’ which brought me back to the phone call.

 

months ago she gave me 2 sheets of paper to fill in which she said was part of preparation to start EMDR.  Still haven’t started EMDR and I’m paying the Medicare gap currently.  In face to face sessions if EMDR is mentioned she always we are out of time, next time.  My sessions are usually once each 3 to 4 weeks but I started seeing her more than 12 months ago

 

 Feeling uncertain and bit angry as feels like she is wasting my time and money.

 

 

@Jynx   @Snowie 

 

 

Re: New therapist

Hi @Patches59 

 

Firstly I hate telehealth appointments. I have been known to zone out before.

Secondly I have started EMDR with my psych recently. Some appointments we do it. Other times we are too busy working on other things. I guess it just depends on what I need to get out of the appointment.

 

You need to do what is right for you. If you feel like you are getting nothing out of the sessions than maybe it is something to look into. I went through 3 psych's before I found my current one.

All I can say is that if something works for one person, it doesn't necessarily mean it will work for another. We all need different things out of our supports.

Re: New therapist

 

 

Re: New therapist

Thanks @Snowie @Dimity  you both have given me some things to think about.  I like that idea about future planning.  That has happened few times in the past but only verbally.  Wondering if might be worth having small note book and putting agreed things in writing.

 

I have very recently connected with a relative on my maternal grandmothers side.  Her mum and my grandmother were sisters.  Emails with this relative have brought back lots of fun, happy childhood memories.  Memories that have triggered upset for me due to missing her.  My therapist is somehow linking my feelings of sadness over my grandmother to start of abuse by my dad … they have nothing to do with each other.  Between ages of 9 and 12 I had 4 relatives die, 3 of which I was very close to. I didn’t cope then and have days now when I don’t cope.  Abuse by my dad didn’t start for another year or 2.

 

My therapist has my timeline of traumatic events and has had for majority of time I have been seeing her.  Whilst typing this I’m thinking might type a note to have with me next session about my current feelings, my preferences for sessions.  

thanks heaps. 💜💜

Re: New therapist

@Patches59 trust your gut. It is sounding like this person is not communicating with you sufficiently. You should have a very firm idea about when you might be ready to start EMDR - it's such a big one, and requires so much trust in the relationship... Do you feel like you trust her? Do you feel like it would be an easy thing to be able to bring up these feelings with her? To me, one of my signs I've got a good therapist is that I don't feel afraid to be critical if something isn't working. 

Re: New therapist

@Patches59 I think writing a note is a great idea.

I write notes to my psych a lot. Especially if I cannot verbalise what I want to say. Sometimes writing it down is so much easier than saying it out loud. I'm not that good at expressing myself, so this helps.

I also normally email the notes about a day or two before hand. That way she has had a chance to read what I needed to say and can come up with suggestions as to how we move forward or at least she knows what needs to be discussed in our appt.

 

Re: New therapist

@Jynx  easiest way for my brain to work through your thoughts ….

Have I trusted in her in the past - yes

do I still trust her - not fully

has she let me down - yes, more than once has failed to email my things she said she would

Am I ready to start EMDR - don’t know

do I want to EMDR - don’t know, haven’t been given options. 
do I feel I can discuss issues with her - verbally, not sure.  In writing and then to discuss - yes.  
(verbal confrontation I try to avoid especially as I go into tears when calming down).

 

you have reminded me of info from BlueKnot counsellor I was told.  It’s my past and it’s my road to recovery the way I want to choose

 

 

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