Lived Experience Forum

[Eden1919]

@greenpea  thank you. 

I am trying very hard to keep ontop of things but i am not really managing to do that. I need to be studying and I just cant. the eating stuff is getting very very very intense and a bunch of other stuff i cant talk about is also getting very very vey intense. i dont know why it is so hard just to manage existance is it this hard for everyone do people who just exist without constant struggle actually exist is that even a real thing... 

[greenpea]

@Eden1919  Hey Eden1919 good to hear from you :). I think everybody struggles with existance even in its most basic form. Existance = struggle or struggle = existance ..... but struggle may not be a negative thing it can be the making of a person.  The thing is to never give up to keep trying.  Keep pushing yourself to take that baby step forward and you will either today or tomorrow achieve your goals. You are an intelligent, young woman Eden1919 you will achieve what you want to in life I can guarantee it just keep your eye on the prize. Love peax

[Eden1919]

@greenpea  thanks i am trying very hard to keep focused but i am struggling.

I saw my psychiatrist today and he mentioned some things he said if i needed he could organise a 2 week hospital stay if i "needed a break" but I told him i didnt want to because hospital has been bad even private hospital, we agreed no meds still because they normally makes things worse. then i had to go past the shops on the way back and i saw one of the staff members from the hospital who had assaulted me, at the shops. now i feel really unsteady and am freaking out a bit i am starting to feel really zoned out. 

[greenpea]

@Eden1919  Hey Eden1919 sorry to hear you are is in a rough place :(. Is there anything that you can do for yourself to help sooth your nerves and calm your mind. Having a bubble bath, listening to some music whatever you really like doing.

[Eden1919]

@greenpea  I tried watching tv and listening to music I am still feeling on edge though and now I keep getting really worried about stuff that is hard to explain and I don’t know what to think anymore. 

[greenpea]

@Eden1919  Hey Eden1919 will be here on and off throughout the day if you want to talk.Sometimes getting a little bit off our chests can really help. Love peaxxx

[Eden1919]

@greenpea  Thanks I am just getting really idk I feel weird again and I keep thinking people around me aren’t people and that everyone is secretly planning to hurt me again. And I feel like I am being watched and that there are things trying to get into my head and there is this one ‘being’ who I thought was gone but it turns out they weren’t and they were just pretending to be someone else and now I feel like everything is starting to happen again. I know maybe I am just stressed and cause I haven’t been sleeping so this is getting to me more than usual but I am just really not sure what to do. 

[greenpea]

@Eden1919  I know you dont want to go to hospital public or private but is there a soft place for you to fall somewhere like at a family or friends place where you can just sleep, listen to music and draw for awhile etc. You have to be careful and really look after your health .... eat healthy, drink lots of water etc.

[Eden1919]

@greenpea  I am at my family home at the moment and I just saw my psychologist but she ended the session early because I just couldn’t talk and I still can’t I kept zoning out and she kept asking me questions because I wasn’t talking but I couldn’t answer and I feel really off and not normal and I feel like I am about to cry but I don’t know why and everything is just getting really intense. I am trying I just don’t know what is going on with me. I am going to try and just watch tv or something idk. I am sorry I don’t even know if I answered your question I can’t think properly right now. 

[MDT]

@Doglover
Hope you are well.these days my friend