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Something’s not right

ETBug
Contributor

Not coping with the long weekend

HI...

 

I am currently living in a caravan park until we can build our house,  and was just very recently diagnosed BPD.  I have always been an extreme introvert with social anxiety.  I hate crowds and noise but until I lived here I didn't know just how badly it would affect me.

 

Sometimes it's OK.  The park owners have put us right at the back next to the bush cause they understand I don't like to be around other people.  

 

But in busy times like over Christmas, New Years and now the Aussie Day weekend, the park is chock full and there are people EVERYWHERE.  Right outside my window.  I'm sitting here in the dark with all the window shades pulled up to block them out.  I've had headphones on almost non-stop to block the noise and screaming kids.

 

But it's not just seeing them or hearing them.  I can "feel" them.  Not sure that will make sense to anyone else (unless you are an Empath), but I feel them there.  It's making me so claustrophobic.  I can't breath.  I spent most of yesterday in my car out on our land, but even that's hard.  It's hot and dry and there's no loo's etc.  But at least there is no people there either.  But the nosiest times are in the morning and evenings, when I have to be here.  

 

I know it will all go away come Tuesday, but it's driving me NUTS!!  And today they are having an Aussie Day Picnic in the Park, which is right next door with live music and rides and families, and kids and OMG!!!!  I sold my house in a tourist town cause I couldn't handle the crowds and moved to this tiny rural town, which turns out to be F-ing party central.  In the 3 months I've been here, there has been non-stop festivals and community crap in the park, which will be fine once we build, but right now I live next to the bloody park.  I'm going nuts.

5 REPLIES 5

Re: Not coping with the long weekend

Hi @ETBug. I find being around lots of people in busy places really hard at times too. I can feel panic and overwhelm and a general sense of being closed-in and taken over. I don't like it either.

There would have been lots going on in a caravan park over the last couple of months 😏

Do you have any plans to get through the next couple of days there?

Re: Not coping with the long weekend

@ETBug Hey ETBug I get exactly where you are coming from. Do you have a bath that you can rest in for a while? Or give youself a soothing shower? I would be freaking out too. Thinking of you. greenpeaxx

Re: Not coping with the long weekend

@greenpea  I just had a shower.  No baths around here.  That would have been really nice.  I miss my daily bath.  It used to be very calming for me.  Right now I'm playing loud music which I'm not sure is the best idea but I need to drown out the screaming kids.

 

@CheerBear Last night I put a countdown app on my phone.  The earliest we will be able to leave is Easter.  WE have been told we have to leave during Easter cause they are booked solid, including the space we are now occupying, but the assumption was we would return after Easter.  I told my husband yesterday I am NOT coming back after then even if I have to sleep in the back seat of my car on our block.  Having a definite end date has helped, sort of.  Won't get me through till Tuesday though.  I really don't know what to do except try to suck it up.

Re: Not coping with the long weekend

@ETBug  Yes screaming kids and me dont mix either. Do whatever works my friend and if loud music helps do it.xxx

Re: Not coping with the long weekend

@ETBug, the kids should be going to school this week , which will be good

sending you hugs and strong ear muffs

@greenpea, @CheerBear 

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