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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I think many people go through the stage of thinking they do not deserve good things in life @BlueBay . 

 

Life is a challenge. I don't think it was meant to be easy. Consider even the early cave people! They were constantly on the look out for predators. They needed to fight to survive. 

 

Today, we also need to fight to survive. But our fight looks different. It has become a mental battle. The very mind that evolutionised to protect us has now turned out to be our own worst enemy sometimes - causing us to think things are our fault; causing us to feel guilty; causing us to lie there awake thinking each night; causing us to be overcome by anxiety;

 

Modern life requires us to harness and train these thoughts so they don't overcome and paralyse us - and sometimes, connecting like the way you have will help.

 

Hugs,

tyme

Re: Need to vent

Sending loving hugs to you @BlueBay 

 

Take care my friend 💙💙💙

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay

 

Sorry to here things aren’t great! I can imagine you’re missing you’re son bit sounds like he’s having a good time.

 

It’s a good idea to call the CAT team when you’re feeling so low. Your psychiatrist sounds like she really cares for you. 

Do you have anything planned for today? 
♥️

Re: Need to vent

hi @hanami 

i sort of feel like i am not worthy of anything good in my life.  i feel i am a burden to my family because of the situations we are in at the moment.  i feel i am to blame.

 

today i went for a beach walk for 30 minutes and then shops to buy dinner.  i have a psychologist appt at 11.30 then i am going to surprise pick up my granddaughter from kinda.  

tomorrow is open house again 😞

i really hope we can sell soon so we have some money

i hate feeling like this.  everytime i go to the shop i have to check bank balance before i shop.  i can't live like this.  it is so so horrible.

 

hi @Eve7 @tyme @Snowie @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @MDT @Bow and others reading 

Re: Need to vent

Sorry to hear that you feel this way @BlueBay. I would have a guess and say your family do not feel that you're a burden at all and totally worthy of a good life. 

I hope you feel much better after your appointment and then having your grandaughter around. 

 

Let us know how you go ❤️

Re: Need to vent

you have resolve @BlueBay
never forget it
i have seen you in times like this before and you pull through

I'm sorry I'm unable to empathise with you. But I am here supporting you and cheering you on like you do for me !

I hope A is treating you well. It always warms my heart hearing you talk about your grandkids. I spoke to my nan the other day and said i wanted to visit them and she was very happy to hear it.

Anyone who has grandkids/parents is lucky I think

Re: Need to vent

That's such a lovely sentiment 😊

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay have been thinking of you today.

I hope this afternoon is a little better for you.

Still here with you hon 💜💜

Re: Need to vent

I'm thinking of you too @BlueBay - hugs

Re: Need to vent

Hi @tyme @Snowie @hanami @MDT @Eve7 @Shaz51 @Emelia8 and others reading

 

I had my psychologist appt this morning.  I feel so triggered, stuck, confused, not sure what to do.

 

We talked about my mum and i told her how she and dad didn't come to my son's farewell party last week.  told her she still hasn't called me to see if my son has arrived safely or where he is.  she just doesn't care.  how can a grandmother not care or ask about her grandchildren.

she asked about my dad and if i have seen or spoken to him to which i replied - no.

she said she is concerned for my dad as my mum is emotionally abusing him - elder abuse.  i never thought of that before.  she told me that my mum is stopping me from seeing my dad and i could go further with this to the Office of the Public Advocate.  But i am so stressed confused and not sure what i should do.  I really don't think i could do that.

 

i think that for now i am going to NOT call.  i want to see what she does - if she calls me.  if she doesn't then i will call her and have it out.  i need to get it off my chest.  i think??  oh i am not so sure.  there is a part of me that is scared of her and there is a part of me that thinks no damn it she needs to know how i am feeling and what she said to me hurts. and how can she not care about my kids or even me.  it's not what a proper mother does.

 

i have had a headache all day today and the session didn't really help.  i went with my daughter to pick up A from kinda.  she was surprised to see me.  we then went down the road for a coffee and poor little A is coughing again.  Second cold/asthma cough in a week!!  Kids pick up so much at kinda and school.

 

so the sold sign has gone up at the house across from us just now.  i feel that people will now be judging us and saying 'gee how come we haven't sold our house yet' there must be something wrong with it. or we are asking too much.  i feel all our neighbours will be talking about us.

that's why i just want to stay inside and not be confronted by our neighbours with all their questions. because it makes me feel terrible and then i get even more stressed and emotional.

 

sorry for rant - i just wish my life was easier and something good come.  hoping we get people through our home tomorrow at open inspection and show an interest.  i am sick of hearing the agent say the same thing - they like your house but the backyard is too small or we don't want to pay the body corporate for the area.  

 

sorry i just a more peaceful life, a quieter life.  especially in my mind.  my mind is fighting from one side to the other.  saying things to do then saying to stop.  pulling from one end to the other.  (not sure this makes sense)

 

better go and sit for a bit, hoping my headache goes away.  continuous headaches are so draining.

 

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