I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I am really hating life. I should be happy and relaxed. Instead I’m sitting at home alone dreading the nightfall. I feel so alone and not in a good place. I’m really depressed and full of despair. I know I’ve been here before and gotten out but right now I can only see one way out. Will this cycle ever slow down or is there only one way to stop it. I just keep cycling up and down. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 In my experience, when feeling really low it can be really hard to see any way for things to get better. Our brains can get very bogged down in that space, which means it is harder to convince ourselves that those hopeful thoughts can be true. You said it yourself, you have been here before and found your way out. Perhaps it is time that is needed, and for now it's just about weathering the storm. 

I'll sit with you in the rain, I've got my umbrella ☔💜

[amber22]

Hey @Captain24 , night time can be really challenging for me too when I'm not feeling like I'm in a good place. Is there anything you wanted to chat about? I'm here for you and sitting with you 💚

Btw loving the umbrella comment hehe @Jynx I will sit under it with you both for tonight 

[Captain24]

It’s a really really bad storm @Jynx @amber22. Thanks for sitting under the umbrella with me.

I don’t even know where to start. Every time I get into this space it gets worse. 

[amber22]

That's okay, some storms are worse than others, and some last a lot longer than others. We are sitting with you 💕 @Captain24 Is there anything in particular that you wanted to chat about/ is there anything in particular that's making you feel this way? 

[Captain24]

I really don’t know what is causing it @amber22. I had a reasonably good time away. My nurse said it was possibly a bipolar cycle. 

[amber22]

That's okay, even though you had a good time away it's totally fine to be feeling a bit down/ off. How are you feeling now? What have you been up to tonight? @Captain24 Here with you, you're not alone

[Captain24]

Right now I feel like I don’t want to be here @amber22. 

I did do 2 loads of washing and some ironing when I got home. But now I just have no motivation at all. I can’t even watch tv. I’m just not interested in anything. 

Im sorry to be so useless

[amber22]

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way @Captain24 

That is so great that you got around to doing the washing today, you should be really proud of yourself. You don't have to be motivated to do anything else today, you should just relax your mind and have a lie down if you can. 

You're not useless at all, you're amazing, even if you don't feel it right now. 

Are you safe for now? 

[Captain24]

I can’t let go. @amber22 I feel so alone. I feel complete and utter despair. I feel useless. I feel worthless. I don’t deserve anyone’s time. 

Im sorry.