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MiaK
Casual Contributor

Conversation for anyone suffering from Herpes Simplex and what impact it has on your mental health?

Hello,

I have sufferred from Herpes Simplex for many years and have been doing my best to manage it with and without the use of medication. When I do have an outbreak I have found that it greatly impacts on my energy levels, I struggle to focus as my mental clarity is impacted, my memory and recall time is worse and of course mood is very flat. I feel like I don’t have the energy to engage in social activities as well and my anxiety increases.

The physical symptoms also include what I can only describe as shingles or high sensitivity across the skin of my legs.

For me the mental symptoms far outweigh the physical and I’m interested in hearing from anyone else who is happy to share if this is also the case for them too.

With love

13 REPLIES 13

Re: Conversation for anyone suffering from Herpes Simplex and what impact it has on your mental health?

@MiaK

Sorry to hear you are having a difficult time.  I don't suffer from Herpes but it sounds like it is causing you some problems.  Is there anything your doctor can do to help prevent flare ups?  A good supportive GP is the best thing to have if you can find a good one!

Hope you feel better soon

Re: Conversation for anyone suffering from Herpes Simplex and what impact it has on your mental health?

Hi @MiaK,

Thanks for opening about this. These things can be hard to talk about, but its really important that we do.

 

I can understand struggling more with the mental side of the illness than the physical side. I wonder if other members who might suffer from physcial illnesses, even if not herpes specifically, might have some valuable support adn advice for you?

 

 

Re: Conversation for anyone suffering from Herpes Simplex and what impact it has on your mental health?

Hi @MiaK,

 

First off, I want you to know that you are not alone. I was diagnosed in May and the last few months have been some of the most difficult. I feel almost exactly the same as your description. It's tough. It's not something that I can open up to my friends about easily when I'm experiencing an outbreak, and even when I do, I truly do not think that someone without HSV can actually understand the weight of the issue. I've been scared to learn that for some women, simple pleasures in life like a good wax, sex, and sunlight can all be triggers for an outbreak. I've been too scared to test any of those theories...

 

However, this forum gives me hope. I have yet to have a conversation with someone who also has HSV. My parents and close friends' love can only go so far, but I've been afraid to reach out to anyone, afraid of what answers I'll find, or don't find.

 

I've felt hopeless many hours of most all days since May, but I've also seen glimmers of hope. It's insane to think something that no one else can see, that is truly in its simplest form just a skin condition, can have such a heavy affect on our minds and self-esteem. I'm struggling every day, but I also kinda think that when I find a guy who accepts it, I won't find this as unbearable as I do now. I think right now I'm feeling a little loveless and unworthy, but that comes and goes in waves. How have you been feeling since June? Mentally/physically?

 

I think my point in this rant is that we. will. be. ok. And that it's ok to ugly cry in your car at 2 AM blasting weird emotional folk music and downing Wawa mac n cheese because you're just f*cking sad for yourself. THAT IS OK. If you ever need support, ask for it, and never isolate yourself. You are worth it.

 

Sincerely....Elle

Re: Conversation for anyone suffering from Herpes Simplex and what impact it has on your mental health?

Elle, reading your post brought tears to my eyes. I could relate to so much of what you said. Although I have been able to reach out to my mum and a very small handful of friends. Every person I have reached out to has been nothing but supportive. Only one of them understands as they too opened up about having it. It helps a lot to have people to talk too and I'm slowly trying to open up to more. I feel as though the more I normalize it the more accepting I will be of it. I feel keeping it a secret is only reinforcing the feelings of shame and  I know I need to break through these limiting beliefs 


I got diagnosed June this year and have had multiple outbreaks since. It's been rough, when I have outbreaks I just want to isolate, I'm depressed, and I get stuck in a negative thinking and catastrophize the situation...Its so uncomfortable and painful that i just want to lay in bed all day. I try to practice gratitude and acceptance as that's all i know i can do.  Those feelings of loveless and unworthiness come in waves for me also. 

 

I've just met a guy that I like and I'm struggling with fear. Fear of acceptance for when I have to tell him. Sex triggers my herpes which is what makes having a sexual relationship hard. I cant help but think what guy will want to date me when i cant have regular sex. I think what i struggle with most is that I feel powerless and have no control. I take the meds daily and that still doesnt seem to reduce the outbreaks. I have a healthy diet, exercise regulary and have a low-stress lifestyle. I dont know what else I can do. 

Re: Conversation for anyone suffering from Herpes Simplex and what impact it has on your mental health?

Hi,

 

I feel your pain. I was diagnosed 2 years ago with HSV2 and have just been rejected from a guy I really liked because he didn’t want to catch it. 

 

I’m sad it didn’t work out but I’m trying not to take it personally. I just worry is there anyone out there that is mentally stimulating for me and who also accepts the fact I might give them herpes. I think the social stigma is the worst and sticking together to share success stories will help.

 

Here’s to hope. Xx

Re: Conversation for anyone suffering from Herpes Simplex and what impact it has on your mental health?

It's been good for me to read this thread. I'm a 33yo male with hsv2. I used to enjoy getting out, meeting new women. But now i don't even bother trying. The thought of having that libido-killing conversation is awful. I don't know what to do, my confidence is shattered.

Re: Conversation for anyone suffering from Herpes Simplex and what impact it has on your mental health?

Is dating an option anymore!?

Re: Conversation for anyone suffering from Herpes Simplex and what impact it has on your mental health?

Hi there,

 

I have lived with HSV-2 for 20 years now.  I contracted it from my very first sexual partner, I was 20 and trusted him.  I should have been  smarter, but this is not about blaming anyone, I live with it, but it has been like keeping a huge secret all these years.  The stigma associated with this is awful.  Only a few close friends know and it's not really something I discuss with them.  It has prevented me from loving myself truly and putting myself out there to be loved back. I want to have a relationship, but struggle, thinking no one will accept me knowing I have herpes.  Be great to talk to others and me just connect openly without fear of rejection.

Re: Conversation for anyone suffering from Herpes Simplex and what impact it has on your mental health?

Hi there, 

I've been single and celibate for about 9 years. I have occasionally gone on dating sites but only looked, never contacted anyone. I would be really interested to know how others have raised having herpes with a  possible love interest.
I know that there are dating sites for people with herpes but even putting myself out there is so scary. 
I live in a small town and the thought of people knowing that I have herpes is enough to stop me dating. 
I'd me interested in other peoples experiences. 

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