Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[pip]

@perseverer. A true Christian practises your words on the left. So many people attending church regularly believe themselves to be Christians but so few actually 'cross the room'. They preach freely about love and forgiveness, then tell you the ultimate price of sin is death. Heaven must be an incredibly lonely place if we're all guilty of sinning. Remember John Lennon's song, 'Give Peace a Chance'.

[Appleblossom]

Yeah .. I found that there was room in the inn but none in the church .. for me ..

but still room on the streets ... yay

I sat and chatted with those in the homeless camp at Martin place when I was in Sydney last week .. proud that they had rigged up some electricity and were running a 24/7 Soup kitchen with food & hot drinks available free.

It is a grass roots gathering supported by lots of local business in the CBD.

[plumbum]

I have found that some Christians are very dismissive of Mental Illness liking it to a 'demonic attack', no it's a very real illness as is a heart attack and it can cause death the same. I am very fortunate in that the church I attend has many very supportive Christians. I am so sorry for those who don't have that experience.

[pip]

Hi@plumbum. Unfortunately, many so-called Christians are under the illusion (for want of another word) that anyone having any sort of mental disability must be 'possessed' by Satan. I decided to be baptized in my local church a few years ago. After being 'dunked', one of the elders wives advised me that Satan would not be impressed or amused as he would feel he'd 'lost' another follower to Jesus. Just attending church and attending bible studies etc does not make one a 'good' Christian, nor does it make them 'bad'. Learning the bible from front to back does not make you a good person. How you treat your fellow man is what determines your goodness. I do volunteer work, I frequently transport people with mental disabilities to w/shops. The w/shop teaches these people crafts which for them is wonderful as they feel as though they are contributing to society. Some crafts are sold regularly to help financially maintain the w/shop. Some people from the church I belonged to treat these people well within the church, but will shun them outside as they feel their Christian duty means the church is where they 'have' to welcome these people. To me, the ultimate sin is to commit robbery, force someone to submit to unwanted sexual acts, murder. These people are still forgiven once they pass. The church still advocates the price of sin is death. there's many 'sinner's' who live a ripe old age. Many good people die too young.

[Former-Member]

I personally try not to assume that someone who says they are a Christian will or should act in a specific way. Most of the ones I know readily admit that they are well short of the Jesus-like attributes they aspire to.
Being a Christian does not make someone an expert in mental health and I would assume they have the same understanding as anyone else in the community has.
Yes, there are some who say and do things that offend; this happens in dealings with people everywhere, not just those in the church. Indeed, some in the mental health profession, even with training, still manage to get things wrong.
Despite negative experiences, the evidence is there that with mental health having faith does provide a protective factor.

[perseverer]

Hello @pip, I agree with you that true religion is shown by how we treat one another. Every devil in hell knows the Bible better than I do. But mental illness awareness is in many ways still in a pioneering stage as far as general understanding in the community goes. I have experienced many different resonses in my church. The famous one I mentioned earlier in a staff meeting where a colleague suggested I get an exorcism. But there are people in my church who have prayed for my family every day. Another who approached me one day and said there were so many times she wanted to reach out but she was so scared of saying the wrong thing. Another of our priests came to me one day and said he really does understand because his sister has schizophrenia. And another parishioner came forward and asked for a longer chat because he recognised many of my son's symptoms in himself. One of my son's former teachers several times took him out for a meal. These are meaningful acts of love and are treasured gestures. It is just a matter of continuing to build on the ground that's been won.

[perseverer]

Hello @Former-Member, and thank you for your positive statement. I totally agree that active faith helps deal with mental illness. For six long years my eldest son experienced severe depression and the ONLY thing that deterred him from suicide was his faith. When he went missing and was lost in the Bunyip State Park in a highly psychotic state he managed to walk through dense scrub in a straight trajecotry to the nearest place of safety. To me, this is a miracle, and I believe that God guided him and helped him in his time of extreme need.

[Appleblossom]

The word "faith" has been problematic for me.

I thought I had not been "gifted" with it, though I tried to be worthy.

I had to analyse the bejeezus out of it, myself and society, before I could understand what people meant when they use it.

I have not been able to take much for granted, but I did come to have a sort of faith in rationality .. and also admit to irrationality .. 

I am now walking away from the church .. not my choice .. but they cannot cope with my ambivalence.

[pip]

Hi @Appleblossom. I too chose to walk away as I felt the church was not practising what they preached. Our church has what they call 'pot-luck- meals occasionally. One of the women who attended has a son with ADHD. He is in year 10 at a school which caters for 'special needs' kids. One evening at one of these 'put-luck' meals, he evidently suffered a total melt-down in front of the minister. I have actually witnessed one such episode where the mother had to quickly divert his attention. The minister at the church was completely out of his depth and disappeared from view. the mother was less then impressed as the minister had told everyone he had to attend family counseling/marriage counseling before being ordained as a minister. When I chose to leave my ex after 25 years, the minister read me the riot act. I had been told I had to 'turn the other cheek' and accept that my 'aging' in-laws, even though they had driven a chasm between their son and me, were more important than my needs and I was in fact behaving extremely selfishly and childishly. Needless to say, my ex was delighted on hearing me being admonished. No - I haven't reconciled with ex, or the church - have no intention of.

[perseverer]

Hi @Appleblossom and @pip, some wounds take a long time to heal, especially when trust has been broken. I understand exactly where you both are coming from; you have your integrity and you are not going to stand there and be abused by ignorant, judgmental people. When it comes to faith it has to be because of what is inside you and your own relationship with God. Then you can refer those people back to Him who knows how to guide them to greater maturity, and although the ignorance and unkindness hurt, you can go to Church for your own reasons. All the best.