Lived Experience Forum

[BlueBay]

Hugs @Silenus hope you’re doing ok. Haven’t seen you on here for a while. Xx

[Silenus]

Hi @BlueBay

It sure has been a while. I have had a good long period of relative stability, which has been a pleasant experience.

How have you been? Hugs and happy vibes beaming your way...

[BlueBay]

Lots of stress here my friend @Silenus 

Sold our house after 5 months 

looking for a new one 

no money having to borrow from kids 

don't have a job lost last year 

Younger  son left a month ago for overseas to live and work in uk 

currently is in Italy with his girlfriend and I’m missing him so much 

mental and physical health not good at the moment 

[Silenus]

Hi, @BlueBay. so sorry to hear. I know from personal experience that financial stress and family stress combined make for a very challenging environment. During such times my physical and mental health would suffer sharp downturns.

Here's hoping that the eternal swing of the pendulum will grant you better times.

[BlueBay]

Thank you @Silenus 

I hope things turn around soon for the better. 
take care xxxx

[petrichor]

@Silenus 

i don’t know if you’re still on the forums. I hope you’re doing ok. My words got tonight.

fly away

let it go

never back again 

[Twilightsomniac]

I'm so close to drowning 

But I'll keep treading water

Telling you I'm fine

While praying that you save me in time

Ask for help

It is what we are always told

But where is my saviour 

When I'm being pulled under

I'm raising my hand

But it goes unnoticed 

Voices in my head keep yelling 

See your just not worth it

Don't trust in love 

Look at your life 

Those that say that they love you

Reassuring you it will be alright 

Are also the ones who keep you under the waves

So even though I'm so close to drowning 

I'll keep treading water

I'll keep telling you I'm ok

While silently praying

That you'll pull me out of these waves

[Twilightsomniac]

I tell you I feel so low that world would be better off if I wasn't here

But as usual you dismiss my pain telling me I'm exaggerating 

Cause no one's pain can be worse than yours

Cause no one's trauma can compare to what you went through 

You always gotta make me feel bad 

Always making me feel guilty for being low

Never believing I suffer too

Cause all attentions gotta be on you

Then you complain when I push you away

Refusing to depend on you 

Like a daughter should be able to 

If you don't focus on the negative you won't be depressed 

Talk to a different dr I never saw the signs for you to have that diagnosis.

You don't know what true childhood trauma is

But the thing is your so wrapped up in yourself 

How could you possibly know what I've suffered 

Claiming your a good mum

Do you even know the definition 

Now because of you I lock my pain and suffering away

Refusing to seek help I need 

Because you always dismissed my needs

I prefer to help those around me

Even though I'm drowning 

You made me this way 

I believe my feelings are invalid 

You claim I'm your daughter 

Your closest treasure 

But you don't even know me

And now you say I'm the reason

Yes I still call you mum

And my son talks with you often 

But we are just mere acquaintances 

Blood does not make you family 

[Twilightsomniac]

Trying to sleep 

But my head is buzzing 

Random thoughts...

Pushing anxiety buttons ...

Uh oh...

It's the insomnia demon 

[Twilightsomniac]

My Noisy Head 

Ting ting

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Pst PST

La la la la

Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Rah

Boo