Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Mrsjones]

@Former-Member 

Im handling things ok... i think. 

Im finding everything is getting harder as the time goes on.

I go back to work in 8 weeks from maternity leave, my husband is meant to be staying at home with our baby girl. Im feeling really unsure about how that may look to us now. Even if he is home and well enough to be at home with her can I trust him to make the right decisions.... he using alcohol to suppress his emotions and mood, can I trust that he wont drink whilst he is with her. (he goes to a alcool program once a week to support this addiction). I have been lightly talking to him about this and about speaking up so that he is safe around our kids. 

I just feel like every day I have a new issue to try and solve. 

How are you and Mr D going?

[Former-Member]

@Mrsjones 

Alcohol in the mix is a concern and I can understand why you would be worried. Some blokes thrive on being stay at home dads, I know however Mr Darcy saw his inability to hold a job more as a failure.

I do not have any experience at all in relation to alcohol or to the care of children and am hoping that someone else might be able to be of help to you.

Plugging along here. Mr D not feeling so well, don't know if it is moving/Christmas/whatever stress or pain but there does appear to be an element of not having anything meaningful to do (but does not seem to articulate what he would find meaningful. 

[Mrsjones]

@Former-Member
Mr Jones always wanted to be a stay at home dad, he was always going to quit full time work prior to health being the main cause of that. But then this depressive episode hit us....
It comes down to honestly, if he has the need to drink or needs to step away for a moment he needs to be able to speak up about that instead of making a poor decision. I need to trust that he is going to do that.
I need to go back to work unfortunately. No more leave left and we are only on my income.
Both of our parents have agreed to help out at any time necessary, we get a lot of support from them thank gosh.

I apologise for the day after day ranting, I am just living it all so much right now where normally is comes and goes in 3 month rapid cycles.

[Former-Member]

Hey @Mrsjones 

No need to apologize, that is exactly what the forum is here for. 

Being to air our thoughts, feelings and fears is so very important. Other forumites can tell us how they have coped, sometimes just articulating the problem helps us think of possible solutions.

[Former-Member]

Happy Christmas, it can be a tough time for our significant others, hope you do find some joy today.

[Former-Member]

@Scoo  @Bobkat 

There are a few of us that support our significant others with MI. If you feel comfortable, please feel free to contribute to this discussion thread or to ask any questions, we are here to help and support each other.

[Scoo]

Thankyou @Former-Member I am glad to have found this online support forum. At the moment I feel like I am recovering from supporting my husband through Christmas (I have a headache and feel exhausted). I learn something each Christmas about how to support him better next Christmas. I have hope that maybe there will come a time when he can enjoy Christmas and not feel tormented by anxiety and depression.   I feel a bit guilty and emotional talking about him in this forum but a close friend encouraged it said that it would be good self care for me. I hope I will also be able to provide support to others. 

[Former-Member]

Welcome @Scoo  good to have you here. 😀

[Former-Member]

The beauty of the forum @Scoo  is that it is anonymous and as such is a great place to talk honestly about those feelings especially the difficult or negative ones which we all experience. 

Am hearing you re: anxiety and depression, my Mr Darcy was crying on Christmas Eve.

Self care so important, learning how to partner with rather than carry the weight of our significant others mental health whilst simultaneously managing our own mental health so we don't fall in a heap is difficult to learn. 

I will tag you in a self care discussion thread  where you might find a tip or two that ressonate with how you are traveling at present.

[Determined]

Hi @Scoo  and welcome.