Dissociative Identity Disorder Carers?

[Former-Member]

@Smc I found that being organised, being clear about the outcome I was after, being respectful and not making it personal against any particular doctor were the main reasons I got a better than expected outcome in one regard (I do not know however if the promised staff training actually happened). Prior to the meetings I did a bit of homework, googling YouTube videos on dispute resolution which helped me focus too.

[Determined]

Trust appointments go well @Smc   🙏

[Smc]

Drs appointment done, everything he could check on the spot was OK, but there's a few follow up tests that I'll have to get on top of during the week coming. Meanwhile he's suggested regular doses of ordinary pain relief tablets in case there's neuropathic feedback happening (as a cycle breaker), but given their misuse on Older Daughter's part in recent times, that was an unexpectedly challenging suggestion.

I didn't have to go into as much background of why my stress levels were too high due to the doctor I saw having worked in the nearest emergency ward for a while... so he was familiar with Older Daughter's assorted presentations there. Good in one way, not so much so in another.

So feeling kinda down at the moment, and hoping I sleep well tonight....

On the plus side, my self care thing today was working towards getting my semi-portable greenhouse into place before first frost threatens. Might post about that in the gardening thread.

[Shaz51]

@Smc, how are you and your family going my friend xx

[Smc]

Hi @Shaz51.

So-so... I haven't been posting because it sounds like more-of-the-same.

Older Daughter has started a series of assessment appointments that may give us a clearer idea of what's actually happening. She's been diagnosed with some physical problems, genuine things this time, but is still turning up at Emergency instead of going to a doctor. Part of that is that she can get a free ambulance ride to the hospital, but has to pay $20 or so for a taxi to the doctors clinic. Free ambulance for pensioners/HCC holders is essential, but how do you get it across that tying up an ambulance and two paramedics for however long is misusing a benefit? If she had to pay the full four figure sum for an ambulance trip, she wouldn't use it when there's other options, but then she also wouldn't have it available when it's really needed.

She broke her "no SH" run last week. Not major damage, but still needed some repairs. Hoping it's a genuine one-off, not a return to previous patterns.

Younger Daughter had an intake session with a psychologist yesterday. Hoping that might help her a lot. Shes not coping with getting schoolwork done, and has lost interest in almost everything. And I'm concerned that what she fills in her time with is not mentally healthy. I'm not blanket anti social media, but I do think she spends too much time on it, and things like Snapchat are so fast moving that they're all about the emotional reaction, with no time to actually think about and process what you're reacting to.

Mum's continuing on much as she was. Dad is slowly but kind of gently declining. He's having trouble with his balance, and so they're not letting him use his walker for going out around the aged care home, only in his room. To go any further afield (lounge and dining areas) they're using a wheelchair. And his memory loop seems to be getting shorter too. He's still generally contented, but we've got the hard thing that if there was any medical emergency, he'd rather we let him go than keep him going only to decline further still.

We're tired... as usual. The greenhouse came together well, and so far has kept a few tomato plants alive when the rest are throroughly dead out in the open. I'm not counting on them surviving all winter, but we'll see. If nothing else, it's pleasantly warm inside as soon as there's any sunshine.

[Shaz51]

@Smc  sending you lots of tender hugs for you and your family 

@Faith-and-Hope, @Determined , 

[Determined]

@Smc  🙏 

[Carol61]

Hi I am new here and I too have a family member living with me who was daignosed 20 years ago with Schizophrenia but I questioned the diagnoses as she was displaying different personalities back then. Now 20 years later she has come to me and she is still being treated for Schizophrenia and now has many other alters than she had then.  I have tried to get her to see GP's, Psychiatrist from Mental Health and have called an ambulance several times with Police when her angry aggressive alter makes an appearance which happens for most parts of the day each day but as soon as she in confronted with medical staff or Police the angry aggressive alter will take a step back and is replaced by a controlled alter who takes charge of the situation and appears quite normal.  Most days I am at a loss of what to do with my daughter because she also has a sex worker alter who will do and say many obscene things in public and outside of my home for neighbours to witness, she is almost 40 and she has 9 alters that I know off, when I speak to staff at Mental Health or Police and Ambulance and tell them what is happening they don't want to believe me because it all sounds too insane right?  I had to call an ambulance for my daughter over a week ago and she had the controlled in charge alter come out as she was stuck in the angry alter and that one called police saying she needed to be in a refuge because she could not cope being here with me. Anyway my daughter when she is out and in control does not remember any of the alters and has continous gaps in her memory when they are out and does not recall anything that they do. The alters know about each other and I have seen two conversing with a conspiracy on how they can remove my daughter by suicide.  There are times when I see my daughter out I sometimes ask her about seeking medical help with the alters and straight away the angry alter comes out and takes over and she tells me that she does not need any help medical or other.  I don't know how I am going to get her the help she needs because my daughter still believes she has Schizophrenia and the alters won't let her see a doctor.  Any suggestions would be appreciated. I too am seeing a Pscyologist from the fallout of my daughters alters,  I am afraid of the angry one because she has already assaulted two people one who is her younger sister and the other her ex partner. How I do I go about getting her to see someone to help ?  I spoke to my GP yesterday and asked him if he could help and he said she needed to be seen by someone specialising in that field of medicine and I played a recording that I had to do because people refused to believe me and all he could offer was how did I live like this with her? I feel like I am out of my comfort zone here and feel like I am letting her down.  Carol61

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Carol61 and welcome to the forums.

That does sound like an incredibly difficult situation.  I haven't had personal experience with D.I.D., but my ex apparently has NPD which involves switching between personas, but it is all the same person wearing different masks, rather than alters per se.

Do you know the names of your daughter's different alters ?  Perhaps if you can have a conversation with the most aggressive one, and gently ask what it is she is so angry about, perhaps you can begin to make deals with her to allow more room for everyone to live together in the same household, just as a starting point.  You might also be able to find out how old she is, so you know whether you are dealing with a teen, or 20-something in that one, and perhaps try to establish a few house rules.

I know that doesn't provide a solid solution, but it may be a starting point while you do not yet have adequate support around you.

It mag also be worth contacting D.I.D. support groups as there may be advice available for family support from others who have been in your situation.

There are members here on the forums who live as a plural inner community who may speak up to support you with suggestions of their own.  It is very difficult for everyone when the system is not working in a cohesive or co-operative way.  I feel for all of you.

Please do keep posting here.  Support for you is just as necessary as for your daughter.

[Carol61]

Hi Faith and Hope, my daughter's angry alter is her age but she has different age groups with the others as there is one who is quite young and assume she is under 10 years of age as she scribbles on walls and does things only a young child would do. As I said she has around 9 and the angry one is angry about being cut out of her children's lives and so she should be but this one doesn't recognise me as being her mother she only talks about me and refers to me as being Carol as does the sex worker, the little girl she calls me mummy or mum and she enjoys playing dress ups but doens't come out as often as the rest. Thanks for getting back to me.

Carol61